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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?